mariahlstudios: Hello everyone, it’s fine art Friday. This is…

mariahlstudios:

Hello everyone, it’s fine art Friday.

This is a piece I’ve entitled “Self.” It was one of my first explorations in oil and with it the assignment was to explore a form of modernism and mine catered to surrealism.

I’d like to take a moment to be real with you all. “Self” emerged from social circumstances and is my interpretation of the creature that I identify as. I’ve always felt like one of those monsters a hero encounters on a quest wherein if they ask the correct question they’ll receive the information that they seek; ask the wrong questions, get the wrong answers.

“How are you?”
“Fine”

Rinse and repeat for subsequent questions, receive similar answers. Answers should be short and to the point.

“No beating around the bush.”

I’ll say fine as there is a whirlwind in my stomach and an ache in my chest. The world is not fine and I am not fine with it. But I must seem to be. I have been appointed the task of having a life in which care for others outranks care for myself.

I compress into myself and hold onto the things that I know will affect others. The thoughts and feelings. The trains that inexplicably lead one thought to another that I already know you won’t have the patience for me to explain how A connects to F if you only knew where to look. Connections that are everywhere that could make everything bolder and brighter and so much more clear if you could only see.

Some who have grown with me, would find this odd. I wear so much on my sleeve, how could this feeling of being smothered and unobserved be missed? To which I pose: How can you observe the unobservable? How long does it take an immeasurable feeling of resentment, mourning, disappointment…how long does it take for these to bubble and brew before exploding to the surface?

How could you find out, if you never ask the right questions.

Looked at, but not seen. Listened to, but not heard.

And what would it matter?

“Self” Mariah Larson, 2021, oil on paper 24″ x 36″
as seen in Black Rock and Sage issue 21

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

#fineart #oilpainting #surrealism #Self #art #artist #eyes #contortion #harlequin
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